Study finds women’s sexual desire drops when household labor feels unfair

New research published in The Journal of Sex Research suggests that the way mixed-gender couples divide household chores is closely linked to women’s sexual desire, particularly when viewed through the lens of gender role beliefs. The findings indicate that women who value equality in relationships may be especially sensitive to doing more domestic labor than their partner.

Low sexual desire is among the most common concerns reported by women in long-term relationships with men. Previous studies have often focused on stress, relationship quality, or biological factors, treating sexual desire primarily as a private or medical issue. The new findings suggest that broader social structures and gender expectations may also influence intimate relationships.

Gender Roles and Sexual Desire at Home

Psychological theories suggest that societies often normalize strict gender roles, portraying women as natural caregivers with lower sexual desire and men as providers with stronger sexual drive. The researchers aimed to examine whether living within such unequal structures influences women’s sexual interest in their partners.

Lead author Alexandra Liepmann, a clinical psychology PhD student at the University of Colorado Boulder, noted that unequal division of domestic labor remains one of the clearest signs of broader gender inequality. Despite increasing support for egalitarian relationships, women in mixed-gender couples still tend to perform more household work than men.

The researchers focused on a concept known as benevolent sexism, which idealizes traditional gender roles by portraying women as caring nurturers and men as protective providers. Although these beliefs may appear positive on the surface, they are associated with unequal power dynamics and opportunities. The team investigated whether these attitudes could weaken or strengthen the relationship between chore imbalance and sexual desire.

First Study Conducted During the Pandemic

The first study followed 163 cohabiting mixed-gender couples, involving a total of 326 participants, during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. Participants completed an initial survey followed by weekly questionnaires assessing sexual desire and division of household labor.

Women reported lower average sexual desire than men and stated that they performed more housework overall. However, performing more chores was not universally associated with lower sexual desire. Instead, the relationship depended on the extent to which women endorsed benevolent sexist beliefs.

Women who rejected traditional gender expectations and preferred more equal partnerships showed the strongest association. When household tasks were divided relatively evenly, these women reported higher sexual desire. When they carried a larger share of domestic work than their partner, their sexual desire toward him tended to decrease.

Second Study Provided More Detailed Insights

A second, larger study included 617 individuals in mixed-gender relationships, 409 of whom were parents. Rather than relying on a single question about household labor, participants completed a detailed 59-item checklist covering tasks such as cleaning, financial management, social planning, and childcare logistics.

This more detailed approach allowed researchers to determine whether specific categories of chores were more strongly associated with sexual desire. Again, there was no simple pattern showing that more chores automatically resulted in lower desire for all women. However, important differences emerged when researchers examined specific types of tasks.

Women reported lower sexual desire when they were responsible for a larger share of cleaning, parenting responsibilities, and financial management. These responsibilities combine physical labor with ongoing mental planning and monitoring, often referred to as the mental load.

The Burden of the “Second Shift”

Even in couples where both partners worked, women tended to perform more domestic labor in nearly every category. The main exceptions were financial tasks, administrative duties, and home or car maintenance, where men’s contributions were closer to equal or sometimes greater.

The expectation that women continue managing most household responsibilities after paid work has often been described as the “second shift.” The researchers argue that this ongoing imbalance represents a form of structural gender inequality that may influence sexual intimacy, particularly among women who expect fairness in relationships.

In both studies, benevolent sexism moderated these effects. Women with less traditional views and stronger preferences for egalitarian relationships reported the highest sexual desire when chores were shared more equally and the lowest desire when they performed more domestic work than their partner. Their sexual desire appeared closely linked to perceived fairness within the relationship.

Why Traditional Beliefs May Buffer the Effect

Women who strongly endorsed benevolent sexist beliefs showed a different pattern. When they performed more household labor than their male partner, they did not consistently report lower sexual desire. For these women, unequal labor division appeared less likely to reduce attraction, at least in the short term.

However, the researchers caution against interpreting this as evidence that traditional beliefs are beneficial overall. Previous research has linked benevolent sexism in women to lower influence in public life, slower career progression, lower perceived competence, and poorer overall well-being, even when sexual desire within relationships appears unaffected.

According to the researchers, any apparent protection of sexual desire may simply mask broader inequality. Women who accept unequal divisions of labor may avoid immediate conflict about chores, but they may still experience long-term personal and professional disadvantages within a larger system of inequality.

Parents Faced the Greatest Burden

The second study’s focus on parents, especially mothers, highlighted another important layer of strain. Among mothers in mixed-gender relationships, performing more household labor was consistently associated with lower sexual desire, regardless of benevolent sexism scores.

This finding aligns with previous research showing that gender inequality in household labor often increases after couples have children. Even partners who previously aimed for equal relationships may gradually shift toward more traditional divisions, with mothers taking on most childcare and domestic responsibilities.

Liepmann and colleagues suggest that parents should pay close attention to how household responsibilities are divided. Their findings indicate that unfair or unbalanced arrangements may reduce women’s desire for sexual intimacy and potentially affect long-term relationship satisfaction.

Limitations and Future Directions

The researchers acknowledged several limitations. Both studies relied on self-reported surveys and observational methods, meaning they cannot definitively prove that unequal household labor directly causes lower sexual desire. Other factors, such as financial stress or physical health, may influence both chore division and sexual interest.

The study samples largely consisted of relatively satisfied mixed-gender couples from Western countries. Same-gender couples, who often divide tasks more equally, may show different patterns. Cultural settings with different gender norms may also produce different results.

Future research will examine how couples discuss and negotiate household responsibilities and whether open conversations about fairness and gender expectations may improve both relationship satisfaction and intimacy. The research team is continuing to explore how long-term partners perceive household labor and whether they view imbalance as a shared problem requiring joint solutions.

Article prepared by Victoria Caldwell.