Why Some People Are Attracted to Narcissistic and Manipulative Partners, Study Finds
People often say they want kind, trustworthy partners, yet some are attracted to manipulative personalities and even violent offenders. A new study published in Evolution and Human Behavior suggests that attraction to dark personality traits largely reflects individuals' own characteristics. People who scored higher on these traits were more likely to consider them desirable in a romantic partner.
The study, titled “Dark side of mate choice: homogamy drives attraction to dark triad, but desirability of antisocial traits and criminal behavior is not enhanced by fame, wealth, or looks,” was conducted by Katharina P. da Silva and colleagues. Their findings suggest that, for most people, kindness and reliability remain more desirable than potentially dangerous charisma.
The researchers also examined whether socially valued qualities could compensate for antisocial behavior. Adding fame, wealth or exceptional physical attractiveness to the profile of a violent offender did not increase romantic interest. Instead, kindness and cooperation remained overwhelmingly preferred.
Dark traits and dating choices
Psychologists often examine the Dark Triad to understand attraction to antisocial personalities. It consists of narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy, three overlapping but distinct traits associated with grandiosity, manipulation and emotional coldness. These characteristics can also occur at nonclinical levels in everyday life.
Previous research suggested that these traits might offer certain advantages in dating, particularly in casual relationships. Men with higher Dark Triad scores have reported more short-term partners, while some experiments found that fictional characters displaying dark traits were considered more attractive than neutral personalities.
Researchers have proposed two explanations. The desirability by-product hypothesis suggests that people are attracted not to cruelty itself but to accompanying qualities such as confidence, status or beauty. The second explanation is homogamy, also called assortative mating, in which individuals prefer romantic partners with characteristics similar to their own.
Brazilian sample and study design
The new study, led by Katharina P. da Silva in Brazil, investigated both explanations. Researchers recruited 400 adults aged 18 to 60, with an average age of approximately 28, through universities and social media. Most identified as men or women, while a small number reported other gender identities.
Participants completed online questionnaires assessing their personalities and romantic preferences. The researchers measured Dark Triad traits using the 12-item Dirty Dozen questionnaire, which evaluates narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy.
The same items were adapted to measure desired partner characteristics. Participants rated how attractive each dark trait would be in a romantic partner. Additional questionnaires assessed sexual sensation-seeking and general thrill-seeking, which might influence preferences for riskier relationships.
Testing attraction with scenarios
The researchers also used written scenarios to examine reactions to different personalities and backgrounds. Each participant was randomly assigned one of six brief descriptions of a hypothetical person. The profiles were gender-neutral and contained no photographs to minimize appearance-related bias.
The first described a prosocial person who was kind, responsible and cooperative. The second portrayed someone with Dark Triad characteristics who was calculating, persuasive and willing to do whatever was necessary to succeed, without mentioning criminal behavior.
A third profile described the same dark personality but added a history of physical assault. The remaining three combined dark traits and violence with an additional characteristic: celebrity status, substantial wealth and high social standing, or exceptional physical attractiveness.
After reading their assigned profile, participants rated their willingness to pursue either a casual, short-term relationship or a stable, long-term relationship. Responses ranged from 1, indicating extreme unwillingness, to 7, indicating extreme willingness.
Evidence for assortative mating
The personality questionnaires revealed consistent support for homogamy. Participants with higher levels of narcissism, Machiavellianism or psychopathy tended to prefer partners displaying those same characteristics. The associations between personal traits and desired partner traits were moderate to strong.
The correlation was approximately 0.59 for Machiavellianism, 0.66 for psychopathy and 0.69 for narcissism, where 1 represents perfect alignment. These relationships remained after accounting for gender, sexual sensation-seeking and thrill-seeking.
Initially, sexual sensation-seeking and thrill-seeking showed weak associations with preferences for dark traits. However, once participants' own Dark Triad scores were considered, these tendencies no longer provided meaningful additional predictive value. This suggests that personality similarity may explain these preferences better than a general attraction to risk.
The researchers also compared participants' preferred partner characteristics with the personality scores of randomly selected individuals. Desired traits more closely resembled participants' own personalities than those of random others, consistent with previous findings that actual couples often share similar levels of Dark Triad characteristics.
How people judge violent partners
The scenarios provided a clearer picture of how participants evaluated dark traits and criminal behavior. The prosocial profile was strongly preferred, receiving an average willingness-to-date score of 5.92 out of 7 across short-term and long-term relationship scenarios.
The Dark Triad profile without criminal history received a substantially lower average score of 2.40. This suggests that manipulative and self-serving personality characteristics reduced romantic appeal even without evidence of criminal behavior.
Adding a history of physical assault lowered the average score further to 1.52, making the violent profile among the least desirable options. The findings suggest that physical aggression represents a particularly strong relationship dealbreaker.
Fame, money and looks fall short
The researchers then examined whether desirable characteristics could compensate for violent behavior. One profile portrayed a famous offender whose assault attracted extensive media attention and a large social media following. Another described a wealthy offender with high social status.
The final profile presented an exceptionally attractive offender whose appearance attracted public attention following imprisonment for assault. Under the desirability by-product hypothesis, these characteristics might have increased romantic interest despite the person's criminal history.
However, none of the additional advantages significantly improved desirability. The famous offender received an average score of 1.46, the wealthy offender 1.49 and the physically attractive offender 1.60. None scored statistically higher than the basic violent Dark Triad profile.
These findings contrast with research showing that wealth, fame and physical attractiveness generally increase romantic appeal. The authors suggest that violent behavior may outweigh these advantages when people evaluate potential partners.
Short-term versus long-term dating
The researchers also examined whether relationship goals influenced attraction to dark or criminal personalities. Across all profiles, participants were somewhat more willing to consider short-term than long-term relationships. Men generally expressed slightly greater willingness than women to pursue casual relationships.
However, dark and criminal profiles did not become relatively more attractive in short-term scenarios. Prosocial individuals remained strongly preferred regardless of relationship duration, suggesting that kindness and cooperation outweighed dark personality traits even in casual dating.
This differs from earlier findings suggesting that Dark Triad traits may provide advantages in short-term relationships. One possible explanation is that real-life charm, confidence and physical presence can temporarily conceal manipulative or psychopathic tendencies, something brief written descriptions may not reproduce.
Other recent vignette studies have similarly found preferences for partners with low Dark Triad scores regardless of relationship length. The new findings further suggest that serious violence substantially reduces romantic desirability, even when accompanied by social or physical advantages.
Limits and future directions
The study has several limitations. Many participants rated themselves and their ideal partners very low on Dark Triad traits, creating a floor effect. This concentration of low scores may exaggerate the apparent similarity between personal characteristics and partner preferences.
The homogamy findings also reflect stated preferences rather than actual romantic decisions. Real-world relationships may differ because of available partners, social influences or inaccurate judgments about personality. Research involving established couples provides important complementary evidence.
The Dirty Dozen questionnaire showed only modest internal consistency for Machiavellianism and psychopathy. The survey also lacked attention checks, and researchers did not confirm whether participants considered fame, wealth or beauty desirable within the specific scenarios.
The type of criminal offense may also have influenced the results. Physical assault directly threatens personal safety and may be particularly unacceptable in romantic relationships. Nonviolent crimes, including financial fraud or cybercrime, could produce different reactions when combined with wealth or attractiveness.
Written scenarios cannot fully reproduce the emotional impact of physical attraction or personal interactions with high-status individuals. Previous speed-dating research has linked narcissism and psychopathy to greater short-term dating success, potentially because confidence and superficial charm can obscure negative characteristics during brief encounters.
The study also relied on a convenience sample of Brazilian internet users, many with higher education backgrounds or university connections. Although violent crime is prevalent in Brazil, these participants may not represent communities where criminal behavior is perceived differently or associated with protection and resources.
Implications for understanding attraction
Despite these limitations, the findings offer insight into why certain people find darker personalities attractive. The results suggest that preferences for manipulative or emotionally detached traits are strongest among individuals who share those characteristics, rather than reflecting a universal attraction to dangerous personalities.
The study also challenges the assumption that fame, wealth or physical beauty can compensate for harmful behavior. For most participants, violent assault remained a major deterrent regardless of the offender's other qualities, while prosocial characteristics were consistently preferred.
The authors emphasize the need for research involving more diverse and understudied populations to better understand romantic preferences. They recommend examining communities with high crime rates or specific subcultures where aggression and criminality may carry different perceived costs and benefits.
Future studies could investigate whether insecurity or limited resources influence attraction to aggressive or dominant partners perceived as potential protectors or providers. Understanding how personality, culture and social conditions interact may help explain when and why dark traits become desirable in romantic relationships.
Article prepared by Victoria Caldwell.
