Marriage Is No Longer the Top Relationship Goal for Many Single Midlife Adults

New research suggests that single adults in their thirties and forties in the United States increasingly favor living with a partner over getting married. The findings reveal a broad range of relationship and parenting goals, challenging the notion of a single, dominant family pathway in early midlife.

The study, titled “The Future Family Desires of Single Early Midlife Adults,” highlights that there is no single script for family formation in today’s United States. Future work could also explore how friendship networks, community ties, and economic conditions shape what single adults in early midlife want from their intimate lives.

Roughly one in three Americans aged 30 to 49 now live without a spouse or partner, reflecting delayed marriages and childbearing. About one in five adults in their early forties have never married, and nearly one in six women in their late forties do not have children, reshaping expectations about midlife family life.

How the study was conducted

Sociologists Susan L. Brown, Wendy D. Manning, and Karen Benjamin Guzzo analyzed data from the 2023 Singlehood in America survey. They focused on 799 adults aged 30 to 50 who were single, defined as neither married nor living with a romantic partner.

The sample, drawn from a large, nationally representative online panel, included similar numbers of men and women and reflected a mix of education, income, and racial backgrounds. Participants were asked about their long-term goals regarding marriage, cohabitation, remaining single, and having children.

The team used a life course perspective, a framework that examines how earlier experiences shape later choices. Statistical models linked participants’ past relationships and parental status to their current desires, controlling for factors such as age, education, income, homeownership, and sexual identity.

Cohabitation emerges as preferred path

The analysis showed that cohabitation is now more attractive than marriage to many single adults in early midlife. About 38 percent of men and 29 percent of women said they would prefer to live with a partner without marrying.

By contrast, only 18 percent of men and 23 percent of women named marriage as their preferred future arrangement. Around one quarter of both genders did not want to live with or marry a partner at all, and a sizable group reported being unsure about any future union.

Past experiences with cohabitation made people more open to living with a partner again. Those who had previously shared a home with a romantic partner were more likely to want either marriage or another cohabiting relationship than adults who had never lived with a partner.

Divorce, children and shifting priorities

The researchers expected that previously married adults might show less interest in remarrying, but the data did not support that assumption. Prior marriage did not reduce the desire to marry again, though formerly married men were more likely to be uncertain about their relationship plans.

Having children also did not deter adults from wanting a new residential partnership. Parents were just as likely as non-parents to say they wanted to marry or cohabit in the future, suggesting that family responsibilities do not necessarily close the door on new live-in relationships.

Other current circumstances were influential, especially for women. Women with a college degree were more likely to want either marriage or cohabitation, while women who owned homes were more likely to express a firm preference to remain unpartnered, reflecting the stability and independence that homeownership can confer.

Limited appetite for more children

When it came to parenthood, most single adults in early midlife did not want to start or grow their families. Only about 20 percent of women and 17 percent of men said they hoped to have a child or additional children, and around 80 percent of respondents were already parents.

For women, past experiences with marriage, cohabitation, or motherhood were not tied to their desire for more children. A woman’s wish for a child did not vary whether she had previously married or already had children, although women with higher incomes were slightly less inclined to want another child.

Men showed a different pattern. Fathers were much less likely than childless men to want another child, while men who had once lived with a partner were more likely to say they wanted a child in the future. Younger men in their early thirties, and those with a college degree, were more likely to want children, whereas male homeowners were less inclined to expand their families.

Limits of the data and future research

The study offers only a snapshot in time, meaning it cannot show whether stated preferences will translate into marriages, cohabiting unions, or births. Relationship histories in the data do not include the length or quality of past partnerships, which may strongly influence current attitudes.

The survey also restricted relationship preferences to marriage and cohabitation, leaving out non-residential arrangements such as committed relationships in separate homes. Researchers say tracking the same individuals over time would clarify how desires change with age, life events, and new partners.

Article prepared by Victoria Caldwell.