Most Long-Term Singles Stay Happy, but Sex and Romance Are More Complicated

Most adults who remain single for many years report relatively high and remarkably stable life satisfaction, according to new long-term research. However, their feelings about being single, sexual satisfaction and desire for a romantic partner can vary considerably. The findings challenge the assumption that remaining single inevitably leads to declining happiness or emotional well-being.

The study, published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, followed never-married adults without committed partners in Germany over an 11-year period. Researchers examined how overall life satisfaction, satisfaction with singlehood, sexual fulfillment and the desire for a relationship changed across different stages of adulthood.

How the study tracked singles

Researchers analyzed data from the German Family Panel, a national longitudinal survey examining relationships and family life between 2009 and 2021. Their analysis focused on 2,930 adults who had never married and remained without a committed romantic partner throughout every annual wave of the study.

Participants belonged to three age groups at the beginning of the research, with approximate ages of 18, 26 and 36. Because entering a romantic relationship becomes more common as people move through adulthood, only 14 percent of the middle-aged group met the strict criteria for long-term singlehood, compared with 67 percent of the youngest participants.

Each year, respondents rated their overall life satisfaction, satisfaction with being single, sexual satisfaction and desire for a romantic partner using numerical scales. The researchers applied statistical models to identify distinct patterns in how these experiences developed over time.

Life satisfaction mostly stays high

Across all three age groups, approximately 90 percent of long-term singles reported life satisfaction above the midpoint of the measurement scale throughout the 11-year period. Among the youngest participants, satisfaction declined slightly but generally remained high and relatively stable.

A smaller proportion of participants in each age group began the study with lower life satisfaction. Among emerging adults and younger adults, these individuals tended to become happier over time, gradually approaching the satisfaction levels reported by their peers. Among middle-aged singles, however, initially lower satisfaction generally remained unchanged or decreased slightly.

The researchers suggest that social expectations surrounding marriage and family formation may place greater pressure on people who remain single into middle adulthood. Nevertheless, even within this group, the findings did not reveal a dramatic or universal decline in happiness.

Overall, the results challenge the idea that prolonged singlehood necessarily leads to widespread dissatisfaction with life.

Mixed feelings about being single

Satisfaction with singlehood itself showed considerably more variation than overall life satisfaction. Approximately 67 percent of the youngest participants reported high satisfaction with being single, and this positive evaluation remained relatively stable throughout the study.

Among participants who began the study in their mid-twenties or mid-thirties, the patterns were more diverse. Both age groups followed three broad trajectories: a smaller group with consistently high satisfaction, a larger group reporting moderate satisfaction and a notable minority who remained persistently dissatisfied with being single.

The authors suggest that these differences may reflect changing priorities and expectations across adulthood. During the late teenage years and early twenties, singlehood may fit comfortably alongside educational ambitions, career development and personal exploration.

As people grow older, however, expectations surrounding romantic partnership, marriage and family formation may become more prominent, potentially influencing how they evaluate their relationship status.

Sex lives diverge among singles

Sexual satisfaction remained relatively stable over time, but substantial differences emerged between individuals. Among the youngest participants, researchers identified four distinct levels of sexual satisfaction, ranging from very low to very high. This diversity became somewhat less pronounced in the older age groups.

Among young adults, two main patterns emerged. Approximately 63 percent reported moderate sexual satisfaction, while 37 percent experienced very low satisfaction that showed little improvement throughout the study. Middle-aged singles also displayed relatively stable but varied levels of sexual fulfillment.

Higher educational attainment was frequently associated with lower sexual satisfaction. The researchers suggest that demanding academic and professional commitments may leave less time or energy for sexual relationships.

Another possibility is that individuals with less interest in sexual activity may be more inclined to pursue intensive educational or career paths. However, the study could not establish which explanation, if either, accounts for the observed association.

Desire for a partner, or none at all

Most long-term singles reported a moderate or strong desire for a romantic partner throughout the research period. Among young adults, nearly half belonged to a group characterized by consistently high interest in forming a relationship.

However, a small but stable minority in every age group expressed very little desire for romantic partnership. These individuals tended to have higher levels of education and lower neuroticism, a personality trait associated with emotional instability and a greater tendency to experience anxiety or negative emotions.

The findings suggest that for some people, having little interest in a romantic relationship may represent a stable and satisfying personal preference rather than a sign of emotional distress.

The researchers also observed that individuals with more favorable overall outcomes often combined lower neuroticism with higher extraversion and stable employment.

Personality and status shape outcomes

Across the different developmental patterns, participants reporting the highest levels of life satisfaction, satisfaction with singlehood and sexual fulfillment generally shared certain characteristics. They tended to be more extraverted, less neurotic, more highly educated and more likely to hold full-time employment.

Lead author Elaine Hoan suggests that socioeconomic advantages may help people maintain a fulfilling single life. Financial security, educational opportunities and stable employment may provide resources that support well-being outside romantic relationships.

However, the researchers emphasize that these associations do not establish cause and effect. Higher education or an outgoing personality does not necessarily produce greater happiness, and several characteristics may influence one another.

The findings are consistent with earlier research suggesting that single individuals who are more socially outgoing and less prone to anxiety often report better psychological well-being.

Unlike studies that primarily compare single and partnered adults, this research focused on differences within the single population, highlighting the diversity of experiences among people who remain without romantic partners for extended periods.

Limits and future research

The research was conducted in Germany, a relatively individualistic society where remaining single has become increasingly accepted. Consequently, the findings may not apply equally to cultures where marriage is more strongly expected or where unmarried individuals face greater social and institutional disadvantages.

Hoan and her colleagues intend to investigate similar patterns in countries outside the group commonly described as Western, educated, industrialized, rich and democratic. They point to countries such as India, where unmarried women may encounter practical barriers in everyday life, including difficulties renting accommodation or accessing certain services.

The oldest participants were in their late forties when data collection ended, leaving unanswered questions about how long-term singlehood affects well-being later in life. Future studies will need to follow individuals into their sixties and beyond, when health, caregiving responsibilities and retirement may become increasingly important.

The authors also acknowledge limitations related to sexual orientation and changing legal circumstances. Same-sex marriage became legal in Germany only in 2017, and the sample included too few gay and lesbian participants to examine their experiences separately.

As social attitudes and legal protections evolve, future generations of single adults may experience different patterns of satisfaction and relationship preferences from those observed in this study.

Overall, the findings suggest that most long-term singles maintain relatively high life satisfaction, even when their feelings about singlehood, sexual experiences and desire for partnership differ substantially. Rather than supporting a single narrative of loneliness or dissatisfaction, the research reveals diverse experiences of single life shaped by personality, circumstances, opportunities and individual preferences.

Article prepared by Victoria Caldwell