Study Finds Fear of Rejection Shapes How Children Conform or Rebel

Imagine being a child in a classroom when the teacher asks everyone to form groups for a project. You sit and wait, watching classmates pair off, quietly wondering whether anyone will choose you.

That fear of rejection—familiar to many children and adults—can strongly shape how children behave around their peers, according to new research from the University of Georgia.

The study suggests that children who feel anxious about being rejected are more likely to conform to positive academic expectations, such as studying harder, following classroom rules, and participating appropriately. They are also less likely to engage in disruptive or troublemaking behaviors. In contrast, children who tend to expect rejection are more likely to resist conforming—both in school-related behaviors and in popular social trends.

Researchers describe rejection sensitivity as involving two distinct responses to the possibility of rejection. One is rejection expectancy, a cognitive tendency to assume that rejection will occur. The other is an emotional response—such as anxious or angry anticipation—experienced when rejection feels possible.

Michele Lease, a professor of educational psychology at the University of Georgia and a co-author of the study, warned that rejection sensitivity can be a serious concern in childhood. She noted that children who are sensitive to rejection may withdraw due to worry or react with anger and hostility. In their efforts to avoid being excluded, they may learn to conform, attempt to ingratiate themselves with others, or become less assertive. Lease also pointed out that rejection sensitivity can predict depression even before clear symptoms appear.

The research, led by recent University of Georgia graduate Cayenne Predix, included more than 350 students in the fourth and fifth grades. Participants completed questionnaires featuring scenarios designed to measure how likely they were to follow their friends’ behavior in three areas: academics, trend-following, and troublemaking.

Lease explained that this stage of development is marked by children learning how to navigate broader peer networks and understand their position within a friend group. While many children at this age have genuine friendships and enjoy spending time together, they are also increasingly focused on figuring out how to fit in.

One notable finding was that simply witnessing relational victimization—such as gossiping or bullying—did not consistently predict whether children would conform across different behaviors. Instead, the strongest predictors were children’s own emotional and cognitive reactions to the possibility of rejection.

More specifically, children who felt anxious about rejection were more likely to avoid disruptive actions and align themselves with positive academic behaviors, such as working harder or participating more actively in class. Meanwhile, children who expected rejection were less likely to conform, whether academically or socially.

According to Lease, the results highlight the importance of examining both the emotional and cognitive dimensions of rejection sensitivity when studying conformity, particularly within friendship groups where relational aggression may occur.

Lease and her colleagues, including Mihyun Kim and Kyongboon Kwon, plan to continue exploring how friendship group norms shape rejection sensitivity and influence whether children choose to conform—or push back against peer expectations.